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Monday, May 16, 2022

 Intentionally Happy

Day 4:  An Outline Of Our Time Together


1 Giving: Do things for others
Try: Do three extra acts of kindness today. Try to bring a smile to others.

2 Relating: Connect with other people
Try: Make more time for the people who really matter to you.

3 Exercising: Take care of your body
Try: Notice which healthy actions lift your mood and do more of them.

4 Appreciating: Notice the world around
Try: At least once a day, stop and take five minutes to just breathe and be in the moment.

5 Trying out: Keep learning new things
Try: Learn a new skill, however small.

6 Direction: Have goals to look forward to
Try: Think of a goal you’re aiming for and do one thing to get it started.

7 Resilience: Find ways to bounce back
Try: Share how you really feel with someone you trust – and be willing to ask for help.

8 Emotion: Take a positive approach
Try: To smile and say something positive every time you walk into a room.

9 Acceptance: Be comfortable with who you are
Try: Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

10 Meaning: Be part of something bigger
Try: Give your time to support a good cause and be part of something bigger.

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

 Intentional Happiness

Day 3: Happiness Inventory

Welcome to Day 3 of our journey.  Today's assignment is easy. I want you to take a happiness inventory. I'm posting the link here. After you take the inventory come back and post your score if you wish. Even if you don't post your score, be sure to read the summary of which his score could mean. Don't forget to be doing the things that you put on your list during day two.  And, don't forget to be using your happiness journal. By the way, my score was 4.48. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/nov/03/take-the-oxford-happiness-questionnaire

 

I love you each.

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Intentional Happiness

Day 2: your happiness list and journal

Welcome to day two of our 30-day journey of having intentionality when it comes to being happy. By now you should have completed the first part of the assignment which was just making a contract with yourself in terms of what you are going to commit to. You may have committed to seven days. You may have you committed to two weeks. You may have committed to the entire 30 days and all the exercises. Whatever your commitment was, this second part is important to our journey.

One of the things that we do to delay our own happiness is delaying doing those things that make us happy. So, we are going to fight through that right now. Today's exercise is amazingly simple. I want you to make a list of five things that you can do to make yourself happy. And so, you are thinking “that's an easy task”. Well, once I give you all the parameters, it may not be as easy as you think. The first rule is that none of these things should have financial barriers to them. I want you to make one list of five things that do not cost you anything to do. I have been thinking about this, and over the course of our lives we miss so many opportunities to do small things because we're waiting to do the big things. It is all because we are waiting on something that's amazing, or something that's grand, or something that just blows everyone out of the water, including ourselves.  While we are waiting to do these large things, we neglect doing those ridiculously small things that would serve jump start our happiness process. For that reason alone, this list should be things that you can do almost immediately. And if the list is really going to be powerful, these should be things that you could readily turn force into habits. That means that if you did them repeatedly over 90 days, they will become a part of who you are.

Please allow me to share with you, my list. The first thing that I plan to do is listening to music that makes me happy. I am going to make a playlist of music that really makes me happy. Psychologist have known about and documented the effects of music on the human psyche. Do you remember when you had your first break up and it seemed like every song that came on the radio was about breaking up? Do you remember how sad the music made you? The music made you remember the times you had shared and the “love” you had lost. It was as if the DJ was sitting inside your head (and I say DJ because I didn't grow up with MP threes or the ability to make playlists). Well, I want you to think about songs that make you happy. And I want you to make an hour's worth of music that is just those songs. For instance, one of the songs that makes me happy is Pharrell's happy song. Another song that makes me happy is celebration by Kool and the Gang. I want you to think about what your playlist would be if you were a rock star, and you were able to hire a band to follow you around playing songs that would make everyone around you smiles and rejoice with you.  When you're making this playlist, I want you to make sure it lasts for one hour. And so that is one thing you may do.  If you do, I want you to listen to it. The second thing that I plan to add to my list is being outside in the evening air. There is something very peaceful about sitting outside relaxing and being a part of the beautiful essence of nature. I will use this 10–15-minute span of time to just sit and think HAPPY thoughts.  If you do this, remember that it should be time where you just exist outside of your home and away from all the distractions that are inside of your home. So, no pictures, no dishes sitting in the sink and nothing to remind you that you need to dust. I just want to exist. The third thing that is on my list of five is having a conversation with a friend. I always can call and talk with someone, and it doesn't cost me anything. That person may be a long-lost friend. That person could be someone that you talked to often. But I want you to add to your list a conversation with someone. This conversation shouldn't be a text. This conversation should not be a letter. However, we are going to get to the point and we two were writing letters as a part of our happiness journey. You go through your phone and just call someone and tell them that you were thinking about them and see where the conversation takes you. The fourth thing on my list is doing a puzzle. Now my mother raised me on puzzles and so for me puzzles take me back to early childhood memories. It reminds me of a time when things were simple, and they make me smile. You don't have to do puzzles that frustrate you or puzzles that require that you think a lot.  But puzzles for me take me to some of the happiest moments of my life. For me I'm talking about everything from word searches which are easy to 1000-piece puzzles which can be cumbersome for some people. And this is just a reminder I do not want you to do anything that causes you stress. And so, if thousand-piece puzzles cause you stress, don't do them. And you don't have to complete the puzzle if that's something that you choose to do invest in a puzzle mat. These mats allow you to start the puzzle and, in the middle of the process, roll it up, store it away, and then bring it back out the next day. That means that you do not have to leave the puzzle displayed on a table and it does not have to be in your way.  However, it is always at your disposal. The fifth thing on my list is swimming. Now I doubt if I go swimming tomorrow. I doubt if I will go swimming even the next day.

I am not saying that you have to do everything on this list. But it will give you options of things that you can do daily that brings happiness to your existence. For me, swimming takes me back to when I would spend summers at our grandparent’s lake space. Swimming reminds me of being with my sisters. Swimming reminds me of disappearing underneath the water and having nothing but the silence and the darkness of swimming in a lake exist for as long as I can hold my breath. And so, for me it is a happy thing.

So, here's your challenge think about simple easy things that maybe you did as a child that made you happy that are easy to reproduce and maybe you've been putting them off or maybe you aren't even forgotten that those things brought you happiness. Whatever they are I want you to commit to doing one of those things every day this week. It would be good if it was the same thing over and over again. But that does not have to be how you do it. You can create a habit of just doing something. Just taking time for yourself to do something that you know increases the amount of happiness that is in your life. The best way to do this is to find the specific time and put it on your schedule. Let us say you choose a puzzle. What I am going to do is place it on my calendar every day. Whatever it is, I need you to commit to doing it for 15 to 20 minutes at least every day this week. Now in the spirit of us holding each other accountable, I would like for you to give me at least one of those things. If you are feeling ambitious, then feel free to jot down all five of them. Now even if you do not put it in the comments list, I want you to write it down in your happy journal. That is right I want you to get a book a tablet or something and I want you to make it your happy journal. You are going to use this to track your journey over the next 30 days. You are going to use it to record the things that make you happy. You don't have to buy anything.  Most of you have phones with a memo app on it. You can create a new memo called happiness. And in that memo, you can list the things that you do every day.

I just want you to get into the habit of doing something small that allows you to be happy. Now after you made that list here is the extra credit for today. I want you to list five things that may cost you money to do, five things that you may not be able to do today, five things that you may have to plan to do. I want you to produce this list of five things because part of happiness is having something to look forward to. While we are creating these daily avenues of happiness, I want us to also be creating happiness destinations. I want you to have something to wake up and look forward to. Some of you may plan a trip to a place that you haven't been. You may plan to do an activity that you thought about doing but have been putting off. Here is the catch. I want you to write a date by one of those things and I want you to start planning to do that. If you are planning on taking a trip, I'd like for you to write the date at least 30 days out when you're going to take that trip. And it must be at the very least 30 days out. This cannot be something that you are going to do next week. This cannot be something that you are going to do tomorrow. This has to be something that you're going to plan on doing. And again, if you're being rambunctious, list 1, 2, 3, 4 or all 5 of those things in the comment section as well. I just want you to tell me what something that you might do in the future that's going to bring you happiness. And then I want you to get to planning for this thing.

Happiness is not something that just sneaks up on us. Oh, don't get me wrong, sometimes things happen that make us happy. But true happiness comes when we plan for it. And before we start planning to make anybody else happy, we must plan on how we get happiness into our own souls. I am looking forward to your list. I am looking forward to reading them. But more importantly I am looking forward to holding you accountable to accomplishing one of those tasks every day and then holding you a common countable for where you are on your plant happiness state. this is an easy task. This is something that you should be able to do easy.

As usual I wish you Shalom. And I wish you Shalom in abundance. I want peace to be so abundant in your life that it overflows and touches everything that you touch.

Be well. I love you.

 

Monday, May 9, 2022

Intentional Happiness 

Our 30-Day Journey to Our Happy Selves

     Welcome to our 30 day journey into intentional happiness. This blog post and the series of posts that come after it really come from something that I say all the time in my email messages. I encourage people to make a great day. It’s my suggestion that you can actually change the day that you’re having and you don’t have to give in to it not being a great day. The idea is that you can control what’s happening around you. You control it by thinking differently   You control it by saying things differently. You can control it by just arranging your personal responses to different stimuli. And so, with that in mind I want to walk us through a series of activities thoughts acts and thinking around happiness. I want us to make an intentional decision that we’re going to be happy. And I want to help you do that. So over the next 30 days I’m going to offer you some opportunities to participate in exercises that have improving to bring what people call happiness. I’m going to encourage you to do some things that I think might bring our inspire or stoke the fire of happiness in you. But more important than that I’m going to encourage you to think about what makes you happy and how you get to that place. 

     So, the most important part and the first part is that this is something you want to do. Therefore, before we start talking about the activities, before I move us forward and to a new phase of thinking, before we do anything, I want you to make a contract with yourself that you are going to be happy. Well really, I want you to make a contract that you are going to go through a certain part of the process. And this is not for me. I don’t need to be affirmed by saying so many people walk through this process. This is actually you taking the initial step to say “I’m going to make myself happy”. Now these contracts do not all have to be the same. And there is literally no contract for you to sign.  What I would like for you to do is to decide right now how much time and energy you are willing to give to this process. You can give seven days to the process. You can give two weeks to the process. You can choose to give the entire 30 days to the process. Whatever it is you decide to do, I want you to hold yourself accountable. And I want to hold you accountable. So in the comments to the blog, I would like for you just to state what your intention is. If you plan to stay for seven days, then state that. If you plan on staying for two weeks, then state that. And if you plan to participate in every exercise, and being here for the full 30 days, then make that statement. My commitment to you is that I am going to be here for 30 days. My commitment to you is that I am going to make a blog post for thirty consecutive days. And so, before you move forward into tomorrow’s post, that is your assignment. Read this and decide how many days you are going to commit to this process. I will tell you that the process is going to include goal setting. It is going to include things like self-acceptance and self-efficacy and self-fulfilling prophecy. It is going to involve you learning how to affirm others. It's going to have some exercises in it. There is going to be some giving to yourself, each other, and to other people. There are worksheets that you will need to complete. And there will even be some writing and some thinking time that you will have to do on your own. I just want you to have some type of an idea of what you are getting yourself into. I am hoping that we can create, at the same time, a dialogue about the process as a whole. As part of my intentionality, I am making this blog post from a space that I use often as a mental and spiritual retreat. These bunkers were, at one time used to store ammunition and explosives.  They are now located in what Lincoln calls its Airpark area. From this space I can sit and watch the sunset. From the space I can see over the city. From this space I can breathe. And so, one of the things I'm going to be asking you to do is to discover places and things where you can breathe.  And I am going to help you with that process. 

     Well, I am going to enjoy the rest of this sunset. I want you to think about what your commitment is going to be. And I am looking forward to those of you who choose to join the journey starting tomorrow. This is an asynchronous experiment. If you stumble across this post and it’s 30 days past the initial posting date. I encourage you to go ahead and walk through each post, walk through each activity, walk through each exercise on a day-by-day basis as if you were right here with us.

    Alright, I love you each. I pray that Shalom is yours. And I pray that at the end of this experience you will have an abundance of shalom for yourself and to share with others.  Be well.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Coming Out On The Side of Grace



Welcome to Coming Out On The Side of Grace. This is a 5 week course on forgiveness.  We will be looking at what forgiveness is.  We will be looking at why we have to forgive and what happens when we don’t forgive.  This course will ask you to think about forgiveness in a different light.  We will focus on the offended person and their responsibility.  After all, that is the one person that is hurt the most by an inability to forgive others.  The course will employ PowerPoints, recorded videos, and sometimes just stuff to read.  I will also try to arrange for us to spend some time in a virtual room where we can all discuss these things together.  This is a personal journey for me.  This may be a personal journey for some of you.  If it gets too intense feel free to email me, or just pull back from the material.  Let’s go!

This course will only require that you have a copy of one book.  That book is The Journey: Forgiveness, Restorative Justice and Reconciliation.  You can purchase an electronic copy of the book by clicking on this link Journey Book.  The book sells for $5.95.  If you cannot get a copy, please contact me and I will find a copy for you.  

It may be a good idea to have these tools at your disposal:  SKYPE, Computer with a microphone and camera, ability to view PowerPoint presentations.  All of these things are optional.  But, if you have them, they will come in handy.

The schedule for our next 5 weeks will look something like this:

Week One:  Why Forgiveness is Essential/What is Forgiveness
                Social Perspective
                Your Perspective
                Choice or Emotional State
Week Two:  What is Forgiveness?
                How will we know if we are truly forgiven?
                Anger/Justice and Forgiveness
                Why We Must Forgive
Week Three:  Grieving
                Lessons on Grieving and Suffering
The Importance of Grieving
                Safe Persons and Safe Places
Week Four:  Truth Telling and Confrontation
                The Power of Confrontation
Naming the Harm
Reframing
Week Five:  Reconciliation
                How are we Reconciled One with the other?
                Are You Open to Reconciliation with others?
                What is the Message of Reconciliation?

All lectures will be posted to this blog on the Monday of the week we are in.  There are no written assignments.  There will be at least two group discussions/conference calls/or whatever I can make happen.  So, go get the book.  We will be discussing the first three chapters in weeks 2 and 3.  We will discuss chapters 4, 5 and 8 in weeks three and four.  You can post your thoughts, questions and comments in the comments section of the weekly post.  Remember that this is not a private posting.  If you have questions that you want to only discuss in private, you may want to save that for the Facebook group that we will be using.  This is going to be a good ride. And, I apologize in advance for the bumps.  If you send me a message to N2poetry@gmail.com, I will give you my personal mobile number and will answer any questions you have.

I love you each,

Pastor Jesse